Lost In Preparation

  I have spent three entire days packing for my trip on Wednesday, for which I will be gone for at least two months and I am extremely overwhelmed with everything at this point. I have organized, packed and unpacked numerous times with no luck of contentment, weighed everything repetitively, placed everything in Ziploc bags that could perchance create a mess, put clothes in airtight travel compression type bags for more accommodation, etc. I have broken down crying twice today in my efforts to remain productive and sane in my efforts to get things prepared. My mind has been going non-stop since the whole trip has been finalized and now my happiness is turning into frustration and dejection. I am already missing my Milo, for who is my dog yet more like my child. Delaying in letting my brother and family know when I am leaving, since I am not up for any company and that guilt is killing me. I am apprehensive that I will get to my destination and be devoid of something I need or want that I ought to have packed that was forgotten or could not accommodate. Perturbed that the airline will lose my baggage and my things will be gone forever. I am already having panic attacks thinking that I will get on the airplane, which will be a sold out flight and crowded, which is a big problem for me. Worried that I will not get to the airport on time or not early enough to get on the plane before most. I am freaking out that I will get lost finding my way through the airport and have a breakdown in front of all those people that unfortunately happened last time. I have already read the entire airport website, analyzed the airport maps four times, and wrote out instructions for myself twice. I am losing my mind here, nothing is getting accomplished, and it is TUESDAY! I still have to pack and organize because at this point my baggage is busting at the seams and overweight. Amongst other things, I have read only two chapters of the book I am reviewing and that deadline is not to far off, I still have to bathe and give Milo his monthly medications, do laundry, dust and vacuum, go to the bank, and say my goodbyes that are looking out of the picture at this point. With all the stress I needed a moment to vent and relax and found this video which as funny as it may be only fed into my lost baggage anxiety. Happy Tuesday everyone and may all your future travels not be too insane!

Chasity