Welcome back reality and goodbye yesterday. Since I got to Virginia, I have struggled juggling things like my Blog, book reviews, keeping in touch with friends and family, doing what I came here to do, and my life in general. I give you all my deepest apologies for the neglect and abuse I have infringed upon you all, but hopefully things will fall back into place sooner rather than later. I have had so much on my mind, but couldn’t seem to get anything out when I sat down to write.
On with the show… I really do not comprehend how any person with Bipolar disorder can or does handle/deal with raising and being a caregiver of any kind especially for children twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year (give or take depending on leap years, your child’s sleep/nap patterns, and babysitter’s and other heaven sent persons with or without monetary gain) without snapping and doing something morally wrong or going completely and irrevocably mad. The mere two months I have been in Virginia to help my best friend as she was well on her way to giving birth to her third son and the older two aged three and two while her husband was underway and so forth has been a real rollercoaster ride. Now don’t get me wrong, I love them all to death, but it wasn’t long before the bipolar in me kicked into high gear and I struggled just to get through each day without losing my mind completely. I have to give a huge congratulatory acknowledgement to all those bipolar and non-bipolar parents out there for their credentials, for this whole experience has just recollected for me all the reasons why I should not have offspring of my own. I have always jokingly said that I cannot have kids, for I shall end up killing them or at the very least abusing them when my mind slips into its crazy mode. No matter how much I adore children for the snotty nose kissing munchkins that they are, I prefer those that I can give away at a moment’s notice. The kind that comes out of one’s womb and that you have to drop off at a hospital or a fire station for a forever home when you have had your fill is not the right type for me personally. As bad as that may sound and no matter how bad that makes me sound as a modernized hominid; for all you evolutionists out there, I will stand up with my hand held high and state the honest to God truth, “My name is Laura, I have Bipolar disorder and I am capable of the darkest of shameful evils inflicted upon innocent children around the world, if we are abandoned together for long periods of time. Every Mom, Dad, and child BEWARE!”
I am not a simple kind of woman, no I won’t do that for you if I can’t, and yes I am quite aware of the someone up above who I personally call Jesus and he is well aware of the capabilities here within my being. I will trust in him to only put upon my shoulders as much as we both can handle together. With this said I am also very aware that I have a part to play in this life as well and that my fate is variable upon my own actions. So put your hands together for all the honorable parents out there and give an extra pat on the back for those of which who suffer from psychological shortcomings (or a mental virtue, if you feel exceptionally spry today) and still pull off parent of the year, it is a hard job from what I know and I know one thing for certain… I would not fall into this righteous category.
“To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.”
-Sir Isaac Newton
-Sir Isaac Newton
*All names have been changed to protect the privacy and innocence of all persons involved herein.
Chasity
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